Thinking abut making this cake....trying to think of what the occasion would be. Maybe Zoey's 3rd Birthday Party or maybe an upcoming Tangled Party! :) Not sure if I want Zoey obsessed with princesses quite yet so we'll see. It looks so cute though and it's made with sugar cookies which I LOVE!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
I really want this car seat cover for my baby boy's car seat. Right now, all he's got is a pink and brown pattern...somehow not gonna cut it. I'm emailing Graco today to find out info on getting just the cover to go over our already existing seat. Anyone done this before. I heard it's somewhere between $40 and $60.
I have always wanted to be better at taking pictures of the girls on Sunday. That's my new goal. This last Sunday Zoey was dressed cute with a couple minutes to spare so I snapped a couple of shots. Afterwards, Jane tromps over and wants in on the action so I took one of her too :) She wasn't quite ready for church which is why her hair looks crazy but I still think she's adorable.
Sorry there are so many of the same pictures. I couldn't decide which one was cutest so I just put them all. I'm bummed they are so blurry but I still like them.
I just LOVE Zoey's A-line. A friend in our ward cut it a couple weeks ago. I really just like short hair on Zoey for now at least. Maybe someday I'll grow it out but for now I'm keeping it short.
I just love how Jane is posing the same way Zoey was posing. She really does look up to her big sister. She follows her around and when she's having a hard time falling asleep alone, she's always ok once I put Zoey to bed. Just these little things make me happy. I hope they are always great friends.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Well, so much is on my mind right now. Not quite sure if a blog is the best place to put these thoughts but I can't think of anything else. Here are a few disclaimers for my audience
-I'm NOT asking for help or pity, maybe just some advice or encouragement :)
-My life probably isn't as miserable as this might make it appear.
-It's no one's fault why I feel this way so please don't feel like I'm trying to blame any of y'all
So, to start off I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed and frustrated right now. I know I don't have school or a job but I am somehow finding things slowly caving in on me no matter how hard I try. Home life is pretty good. My house never seems completely clean all at once but at least I've been making progress on organizing things and keeping up with the kitchen duties (those are the most important in my opinion.) My girls are good girls and shouldn't cause me stress but I'm feeling that when I'm feeling overwhelmed with other things, my patience is short with them. That makes me feel guilty which only adds to those negative feelings I'm having.
My calling at church requires a lot of energy and TIME. Supposedly I should be assigning everything out so I don't really have to do any of the work.....what I say to that "easier said than DONE." I can honestly say that delegating jobs is HARDER than doing them myself. It is definitely a learning experience for me. I'm learning how to work with people and how to find the balance between being nice and being firm. It's hard. Sometimes I just want to scream and lash out at the first person who doesn't do exactly what I want. I know, harsh. I hate that I feel that way. I know this feeling is obviously coming from an evil source but I'm being honest here. I feel like I've reached my limit and would rather just curl up in a ball and ignore my phone and responsibilities. It's no one's fault. People behave in a way that I would behave and many times miscommunication is the culprit. I don't feel cut out to be a leader or delegator. Give me a job and I'll do it, but when you tell me to delegate the whole thing how am I supposed to know what's going on?? I feel like a failure in this category.
I feel like this calling consumes me at times. Sometimes I feel alone because no one else has the same pressure. I may have delegated something to someone but if it doesn't get done all eyes are on me. It's tough. Obviously I'm feeling sorry for myself and having a bit of a pity party. I also feel like I'm in a big rut of feeling sorry for myself and don't know how to get out. That's the worst part. I want to be able to be positive and feel happy even if things aren't going exactly my way.
I am grateful though. Grateful for my cute girls who appreciate me and give me the sweetest smiles. I'm grateful for my pregnancy that is going by much easier than my previous ones. I'm thankful for the good friends I have created in my ward here. I've never felt as settled somewhere as I do here and that's been really nice. I love the example that other girls are to me. I am discovering so much good in so many people that I never would have seen otherwise. I am grateful for my husband and his ability to bring me back to reality. Things are going well in life and I'm hoping to be able to see things through a better perspective very soon. Until then, I will be on my knees a lot trying to find a better solution.
Thank you blog for listening to my ramblings.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Being a first time mom is definitely different than being a second time mom. There are positives to both. I've been noticing this especially recently as I've seen many girls in my ward become new moms. I love the magic that comes with becoming a mom for the first time. I love how every little thing the new baby does is such an experience. You can really see the light in the new moms eyes as she simply adores her little bundle of joy. There's nothing like it.
There's also some funny things about raising your first child...I am still experiencing them as I am still raising Zoey obviously. I think it's funny how every mom has such different opinions regarding the right way to raise children. It's funny how competitive we are with our first children whether it's sitting up, crawling, walking, talking, potty training, knowing numbers etc. It seems like that's all moms want to talk about is how/when/why they are doing the things they are doing with their kids. I don't think any mom can consider herself an expert on any parenting subject and many will be the first to admit that they don't know what they're doing. Other moms act like they have it all together when we all know they don't :) One girl in my ward said I was super mom which I immediately laughed at telling her that she needed to come look at my disaster of a home (I knew she was a pretty organized person, so I figured that would give her a taste of how un "super" I really am.) Anyways, living in an area where there are lots of girls my same age and in the same circumstances as me, it's hard not to notice how eager we all are to do things "just right." Every mom wants their child to do things better and earlier than the "average" child. Personally I don't like that feeling and wish we weren't so competitive. I admit that I naturally find myself feeling this way with Zoey. When she didn't learn to walk at 12 months I was embarrassed. Try as we may, we cannot get her to learn her colors and to be quite frank, I am a little embarrassed about that too. It's a good thing we have a second child to teach us what we don't need to worry about.
I really enjoy being the mother of a second child. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVED having a first child too. It was seriously magical, but a second child really taught me something I didn't learn with the first. I guess the biggest thing is that I really get to enjoy everything about my child instead of comparing and contrasting them with other children. I don't even think twice about what age they are doing certain things compared to what age other children have been doing them. I don't count the time that my child gets tummy time nor do I "train" them to stand up or sit up. I love being able to let their little brains work things out on their own and figure things out when they're ready. I don't mind that they aren't up to par with the other kids their age and I feel like this allows me to relax and enjoy life more.
It's a funny thing, that first baby syndrome. I don't quite get it but I think we all get it to some degree. To all you first time moms out there, I would just like to say that children are precious and special no matter what their developmental skills are. It's fun to count down the days until they are doing a certain thing, but when all is said and done....does it really even matter what age they start doing something? I feel like things are already getting better with my third child on the way. I don't mind at all that I'm showing drastically more than I was with my first two. I don't "think" I'll mind if my baby comes late or if he's 10 pounds. I know that may cause some stir, but I really feel like I honestly won't care what others think. These children are all Heavenly Father's children no matter their size or abilities. They all deserve the same amount of love and support. I am truly grateful for my children.
Monday, March 7, 2011
I feel a little spoiled as I write this because I am realizing that with every pregnancy I have gotten what I wanted with the gender...I wanted a girl first: got it, another girl 2nd so they could be friends: got it, this time around I wanted a boy really bad: got it. I've never had a real noble reason for wanting a certain gender, mostly just selfish reasons. Anyways, with that aside...here's the most recent pregnancy news.
I had my 20 week ultrasound last week. The ultrasound tech was NOT the most friendly person and was pretty stingy about showing us the screen. I'm over it now, but if that were my first ever ultrasound I would have been pretty disappointed. Measurements were right on with me being 20 weeks along. Baby's measurements were good, my placenta was good, and my cervix was good. Good news all around. The gender was most definitely MALE as you can tell in one of the pictures below. I couldn't believe that I really got what I wanted when she said it was a boy. Andrew was pretty excited abut the news as well. It's so much fun to know what this baby will be. I love being able to look at boy clothes and just imagine what a little boy baby will be like. I'm sure a lot more wild than my fairly mild mannered girls but I'll take it! Andrew can have wrestling matches to wind him down every night while the girls and I chat and relax :) Not much else is going on. This pregnancy is actually really easy as of now. My morning sickness is completely gone which is awesome! My last two pregnancies I could not say that at this point. Something about this baby is making me bigger than my other two but I'll just contribute it to the gender and I honestly don't care. It's fun to actually look pregnant instead of just chubby. I've decided that it's much better to just wear maternity clothes than to try and hide your belly in your normal clothes. The maternity clothes show off your belly and actually make you look pregnant while regular clothes just show off your chubby areas...love handles, etc. Sorry for the ramblings...one more thing. I am finally feeling a boost in energy which is SO needed. I can actually get some cleaning done and maybe even get ready for the day. I know this will wain as I enter my third trimester but I'll enjoy it while it lasts! Can't wait for July!
In other news, my mom purchased tickets for me, Zoey, and Jane to fly down and visit next month. We are planning on going to Disneyland and having a much needed break from Rexburg. I feel like I never get breaks but in reality I do. We did get a break for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I guess I'm just comparing myself to other families in our area. We definitely do not leave town as much as the average couple around here. I'm fine with that and actually think it really helps us develop better friendships because we are around to actually participate. Nonetheless, I am feeling a little burnt out with everyday life including my calling so this break will hopefully be just what we need! I'm sad Andrew can't go but he doesn't seem to care much so whatev (he said he doesn't like Disneyland...I don't think he's been since he was a boy so maybe he had a bad experience) :)
Well, on with the pictures.
My first baby boy purchase. I told myself I won't go crazy with buying clothes but after finding out the gender I couldn't resist just one little outfit. I am SO happy to be having a summer baby. Can't wait to get that little newborn out and about!
Face straight on...i know, it looks like skeletor lol. It's cute to me because his mouth is open. I guess he's "drinking" the fluid...weird.
Wasn't planning on putting this picture up but it actually looks kind of cool to me with the angle....minus the pale freckled arm lol. I've come to terms with my skin color and complexion. It took awhile. In junior high I refused to wear short sleeved shirts in public because of my freckles. This may not seem like a big deal but in 100+ degree weather it really wasn't very comfortable. Looking back, I really can't believe I did that but I'm sure we all have our awkward self conscious junior high stories to tell. Anyways, now I could care less what others think and I've stopped trying to find ways to change the color...it honestly doesn't work. I've tried just about everything you could think of and everytime I just end up with a bad burn that eventually peels and leaves even more freckles. Sunscreen is my best friend now especially after hearing some scary stories of people dying from skin cancer. That will not be me. Plus, there are good things to having such fair complexion. For one, my skin will keep it's elasticity longer and keep me looking young (not that I need to look younger but maybe I'll appreciate it when I'm older right?), and second I have met so many beautiful grandmas that said their red/strawberry blonde hair never went grey, it just got lighter and lighter until it went blonde. I'm hoping mine will do the same! I like my hair color now but it would be awesome if instead of going grey I could just be blonde :)
Last but not least is our gender announcement. Enjoy :)