Just a warning, as I reread this blog it sounds very much like a ramble. Feel free to read just know that there's not really any organization to these thoughts :)
My blogs are hardly used as ways to express my personal feelings. This one is an exception. I just wanted to share some personal feelings I've had recently (don't worry it won't become a habit.)
I experienced something recently that got me thinking. It's so important to treat everyone with love. Some people may not seem like the kind of person you want to be around, but they still deserve to be treated kindly. Sometimes we treat these people with "kind" words but the intention is anything but. Usually those words are easily seen through and can cause more harm than good. I think it's important to not be fake, but if you're going to try and be nice to someone, be sincerely nice, don't go halfway. This didn't happen to me, but seeing it happen to someone else makes me sad :(
I have been blessed with people in my life that have showed me nothing but sincere kindness. I am so grateful for them. Lately I have been thinking about some good friends from high school. They are people I feel totally comfortable around even after 6 years. I love having that trust and friendship even if it's only once a year that I seen them (or less). I am grateful for my own mom and sisters who have shown me love no matter what. My mom always makes time for me even though she is one of the busiest people I know. They are also the best aunties and grammie any little girl could ever hope for :) I am also very grateful for Andrew's family. His mom and sisters immediately took me in as one of their own. I am so lucky to have 11 sister-in-laws who I consider my best friends. Few other girls get to have 11 eternal GIRL-friends! I have Nanny to thank for that :) She is such an example to me.
Living here in Idaho has been the right thing for us to do. We know that. However, it's been hard to be away from those true friends that I love spending time with. I have made friends here and I don't want them to think I don't appreciate them because I DO! Circumstances just make it hard to develop friendships like the ones I miss. Moving so often is hard because any friends I did make are now not just a few blocks away. Sometimes you just need some girl bonding time. My sister-in-law Christina expressed similar feelings while she was away for a year in Korea. My situation fails in comparison to what she felt. I've decided to leave things up to the Lord. He knows my needs and desires and I know that if I do my part, I will be happy.
I also realized that sometimes I need to flip my thinking around...you know, not be so self-centered :) What if someone else really needs my friendship and this whole time I've been thinking about my own wants. If I start looking for those that need my help, I will probably find what I am looking for too (for some reason this statement also seems a little selfish haha.) Anyways, I know I won't always feel this way. There will come a day when I too have 12 children running around (who knows :) and I too will be annoyed with the young mom next door who keeps inviting me places because she has no friends. I probably won't care much for a social life then.
As I said before, I am so grateful for the eternal friendships that I already do have. I never have to worry about losing the friendships I've already made especially within my own family. While I miss having friends so available to me, I know that they're still there just miles away.